I’ve lived at the beach for than a decade now. And before my life in the beach I lived in the mountians in Montana. Both are tourist areas which are full of… you guessed it… tourist!
The locals take great joy in watching the stupid things the tourist do when they are out of their natural environment. I’m sure all of you reading this are way ahead of the curve in this department. But, living in tourist areas and making fun of tourists for most of my life has me super conscious about my behavior when I’m on vacation or somewhere I’m not familiar with. I won’t go into all of the stories of things I’ve seen tourist do, but that might make a great post for a later date. I’ll just get right to the point and go over some things that will help you fit in at the beach.
Here are 27 Tips on how to look cool and like you know what you are doing when you are at the beach.
- Don’t wear your flip flops in the sand. It will flip sand up your back and flop it on everyone when you walk by them. Just take them off and carry them. Or use a carabiner to clip them to your belt loop or beach bag.
- Mind the tide. Some beaches have a greater tide movement than others. I can’t tell you how many times we sat on the beach in Folly Beach and watched people sitting in the same spot for 4 hours. The tide slowly crept closer and closer to them until they were finally shocked by a wave getting their stuff all wet. That is funny every time.
- Don’t overpack. I’ll do a video or another post on what to pack later. But think of how long you will be there and try to figure out what you really need.
- Pick up your trash! I should have made this number one. I don’t think it takes much explaining. If you really want to look cool pick up a couple of pieces of trash that aren’t yours.
- Also, Hold onto your Butt! Don’t put your cigarette butts in the sand. People think if they put them one inch below the sand that they disappear, but they don’t. Take them with you.
- Use Reef Safe Sunscreen. If you’re at a beach that has coral or any kind of reef you really need to start using Reef Safe Sunscreen. Some beaches are starting to issue fines if you don’t use. Plus, if you went to a beach to snorkel and look at the reef doesn’t it just make sense to try not to kill it?
- Bring Proper Foot Wear. There are many types of beaches and they require different types of footwear. A nice white sand beach might be calling for bare feet. But if the sand if even a shade darker and it’s a tan color, it can get really hot. And you don’t want to be flicking hot sand up your sweaty back in flip flops. So you might need a pair of sandals. And some beaches are rocky so you might want a water sock or water shoe that you keep on the whole time. I will link to a video on some reviews.
- Keep it to yourself. The noise that is. The day of the boombox is long gone. Sound doesn’t travel very well at most beaches so a Bluetooth speaker at a low to moderate level might be ok. It depends on if the beach you are on has waves making noise and a lot of other noisy people. Also, don’t scream at your kids to get out of the water, and stop hitting their sister and don’t throw sand. Get up and go talk to them. It can drive people crazy. The same goes for barking dogs. Just try to be courteous. It isn’t that hard to figure out how to be a good neighbor.
- Which brings me to where to set up. Don’t set up your tent and beach chairs and BBQ grill right in front of a couple laying on their towels. And if there is room give yourself some space between you and your neighbor. At some beaches, they have rental chairs that try to get all the good spots. I’m fine with aggravating them because they should have to be set back a bit farther back from the water (This is my opinion. Your not going to change my mind if you own a chair rental company so don’t give me a big speech.)
- Drinking and Peeing. Everybody knows that everyone who is drinking or even just sitting on the beach is going to have to pee at some point. And everyone is going to go into the water to pee. So if this is you, do us all a favor and go out a little deeper. We don’t want to see pee going down your leg watch you squat in 6 inches of water. I seriously see this all the time. Go out to chest-deep and do your business so that people are at least guessing if that is what you are doing.
- When you shake it, think about wind direction. I’m talking about your towel of course. When you get up to leave and you pick up your towel and all of your other beach stuff, the wind is going to blow the sand. So if the beach is crowded sometimes you can slide your towel back to an unpopulated spot to shake it off. If you can’t just don’t lift it up over your head and wave it around. Try to keep it close to the ground to limit the sand’s travel distance.
- Sex on the beach. Just don’t do it. It sounds like a fun bucket list item, but sand in your nether regions is not any fun, and in the water can expose you to some bacteria issues. So just count your sex in your hotel room at the beach, as your beach sex. I know that has you thinking about the balcony, doesn’t it? Well, that’s your call. I’m not going to get into that debate.
- Games. Corn Hole, Bocce Ball, Frisbee, Beach Beer Pong, they are all tons of fun. Take them to the back of the beach behind everyone. They usually get loud and involve a fair amount of cursing and other jovial activities. Something about the beach makes people want to be seen and make a spectacle of themselves. Just go to the back of the beach and let everyone enjoy the view they came for. And if your a rookie kite flyer or in charge of one (aka your 10-year old kid) think about the crash zone. If they have 200 feet of line out and crash it into someone, it is going to hurt.
- Fishing. I love to fish from the beach. I couldn’t sit on the beach without my fishing rod because I didn’t think I was doing anything. Well, technically I was probably still drinking, but I like to fish. That is why I usually go to the beach around 4:00. Most tourists get out of the water about for and then leave to get showered and ready to go out to dinner. Besides, most fish doesn’t bite in the middle of the day. And people in the water do not look to see if anyone is fishing. So the burden is on you to not catch them. And, my travel tip is whether you are flying or driving buy a 4 piece rod so it is easier to travel with.
- Surfing. I’m guessing most surfers know what to do so I won’t tell y’all. But, if you see surfers out in the water when double red flags are flying don’t think it is ok for you to get in the water. They know what they are doing and they are attached to a floatation device. Mind the Flags!
- Tents. I touched on placement earlier, but I want to make another point. Take them down when you leave. I know at a lot of beaches people leave them up because they are too lazy to take them down and put them up the next day. Or they are trying to save their primo spot. But I’ve seen a ton of them get taken out by the tide because tourists don’t know how high the tide goes. Also, turtles and other marine life get stuck in them. Not to mention it just looks tacky. So take all of your stuff with you when you leave. They make a lot of tents and sunshades that are very easy to put up to take down.
- Digging Holes. If you dig a hole fill it in before you leave. This is another big problem for turtles and humans. Turtles get stuck and or disoriented by them. And lots of humans walk the beach at night and they cause a lot of injuries. So if you think digging is fun, you should be equally excited about filling in.
- Lights. (I seem to be on a roll for turtle safety). Turtle season is pretty long and lights on the beach are a big problem for them. They come out of the water and lay eggs and lights from humans can easily make them disoriented. They use the moon to find their way back to the water. If you are staying in a house on the water your porch lights can lead turtles in the wrong direction. They are usually exhausted from laying eggs and if they end up under your deck they will probably die.
- Bottles. Another one this is just not cool. I wish beach town would only sell canned beer. And I know your favorite beer may only come in a bottle. I also know you are super careful and wouldn’t break your bottle on the beach. But accidents happen and bottles break. Also, most people put their trash in the cans on the beach, if they are provided. And those cans get tipped over all the time. So just do us all a favor and sacrifice with some good ‘
ol can beer like the old days in high school. You can tell stories that start with “remember when”. - If you are lucky enough to be in a place that allows dogs on the beach pick up their poo. And if your dog is a runner keep it on a leash. Any place that still allows dogs is probably just hanging on by a thread. So show people how nice it can to have the pooches on the beach and don’t screw it up for everyone.
- Seagulls. Another one for the category of ‘please just don’t do it’. I didn’t really think this was going to be a list of what not to do when I started writing it. But, these are the things I see people doing that drive everyone crazy. If you want to feed the seagulls, first of all, you’re going to get pooped on, so please go where everyone around you won’t get pooped on too. And, just so you know, feeding any wild bird, dolphin, shark, whatever, is illegal and very bad for the animal you are feeding. I did do it once, but just for a second and to try out the slow-motion on my first GoPro
- G-Strings, Mankinis and other types of skimpy clothing. I say you’re at the beach go for it. Don’t be gross in front of kids. But, I think anything goes.
- Topless beaches. This one can throw you off a little when you’re not used it. So just relax an be cool and don’t be the person
tring to get sneaky pictures. - Nude Beaches. I actually went to a nude beach by accident in Hawaii one time. This can really throw you off. So I’d say if you’re not willing to get rid of your tan lines too, it might be best to go to another beach.
- Driving on the beach. This is still allowed in a few places. Keep it slow and keep it where you are supposed to be driving. I’ve seen several stories of sunbathers getting run over. And do not try to drive half in the water half on the sand. You will get stuck and this can be a big problem. You don’t want to be like these guys
- If they don’t have showers at the beach be sure to rinse off your stuff when you get home. Things like the little screws in your sunglasses, your key chain and everything else can develop rust pretty quick if you don’t take care fo them. I wash everything, snorkels, coolers, beach chairs, umbrellas, etc.
- Just be cool. The beach is where people go to relax and unwind and some people go to get wild and party. There are different beaches for different activities. Even different sections of the same beaches for different activities. So just be sure you are in the right place. It’s not hard to be cool at the beach. Just don’t be a dick and you are going to be fine.